DarknessThe darkness follows us allBut only some succumb to it.We're stereotypedWords cannot describe pain,Paint can't take place of bloodHelp us.Light crushed with lost soulsUnloved, unwanted, hurtPick the bladeSharp, razor, lightweightdeep slash through paleTo redNo understanding at allWords completely goneNo one wants youYou're alone. Uncared for.Why don't you give up?We do.We'll end it all,Can we be saved?
No Way Out?Here it comes againAs it does every dayThe itching need to hurt myselfWhy won’t it go away?Haunted by mistakesTerrorized by fearsAll of these are triggersThey've tortured me for yearsWhat must I do?Is there something I missed?The urges are hardSometimes to resistI’m afraid I won’t make itI’m afraid I will breakI really don’t knowHow much more I can takePlease make it stopPlease end it nowThere must be a wayPlease tell me howOr maybe I’m wrongI’m starting to doubtMaybe the truth isThere is no way out.
When Urges StrikeThe urges strikeI clutch my wristIt is becomingSo hard to resistMake it stopPlease stop the painOr else I'm afraidI may go insaneThis agony I feelIt just won't stopWill it ever end?Or will it not?I cannot relaxI cannot sleepThe urge is so strongThe darkness so deepMy body is tenseMy muscles are tightPlease someone help meContinue to fightBut this is my problemI'll do it aloneI need to fight itAll on my ownI want to cryI want to screamI want this allTo be just a dream"Don't think about itEmpty your mindBlock out the painThen you'll be fine"These are my thoughtsWhen the urges strikeDistract myself with
RecoveryVeering off on a new trackMoving forward no matter what may occurIt's never looking backNailing the door to the past secureMaking way through new territoryTaking each road block as they comeChanging what happens in your storyCreating a new beat of your drumHaving courage to face each new dayHaving strength to stay on courseHaving faith to light your wayHave happiness as a driving forceTo be awareTo persevereTo careTo face fearTo live and love to the deepest extentTo never let your flame burn outTo be who you are meantThat's what it's all about
BridgeSteep, Deep BridgeBe my rest tonightHaunt me in my dreamsMake me screamMake me fearBut knowThat you will nevernever, make me die.I stand on your sidePreparedTo step over the chainto moulded wooden plankOver river, deep,cold, secluded, dark.My final homeI see my love runSighted, I hurryTo attempt the climb, the leaphe reaches megrabs me, holds me backhis cheek hot against my neckThe illusion snapsI look down and gaspMy love pulls me backI give inhands let go of chainLeg slips off touches groundI turn, look into eyesSafety, life, loveFear.A tear slips down my cheekHe wipes if with his thumbBridge, sweet br
Relapse My guardian angel did his best But I found a way nonetheless.
Real Pain?Is this a dream? This is reality.My head is spinning And suddenly, I can't breathe. This is mylife but I don't remember choosin
Part of meOne day these scars will healMaybe the ones inside too.The blade won’t save me from the hurt, the torture.I have learned that now.The pain is here even after the depression is dead.Someone notices, comments, it all comes flooding back.But I faced my fearsRefused to carry the white flagIt’s a ghost from my past.The marks are there.A part of me.But I’ll never regret what I did to survive.
Chapter 1“Tommy!” A shrill voice echoed in the house, stirring Niko from his dreams. He was groggy, unsure if he was still asleep, and then his mom’s voice echoed again through the house. “Tommy…! No…” It was easy to hear the sobs start on the floor below. Niko got out of bed, and slipped out of his room. It was still a plain white from when they moved from Maine and into this New York house when he was eight, and he felt out of place in the peach colored hall. He peered past the stairs and down to the linoleum floor. He could see two black high heels – his mother’s shoes – and could see sh
The Steps to CuttingMy arm, burning for a blade,Because of the feelings that just won't fade,I try to say, "Go away!"Instead they just replay.The blades are sitting in front of me,My hand is shaking, fighting the need,I pick up a blade, to complete the deed,The blade flies across my anatomy.My arms are bleeding, my heart is torn,My legs are cut, my feelings worn,The time right now, I feel reborn,Until tomorrow, when I'll be scorned...
Sta.sh
